So many feelings,so little time.

What can be better than a screwd Weekend? - Just the beautiful Monday morning...

Sorry.. No inspiration to write..

Thanks

A lot... I mean. Who does that? It's not cool, okey? Or fair.... I don't know how it happened, but it didn't seem like an "accident". More like a set up... I felt and I still feel stupid.
This morning I got to school minute or two later, straight on the bell to the first class. When I got there I saw only three seets left, but all of them was next to someone, so I choose the closest one to me, next to a classmate-boy. Soo. Right. Nice. Yeah.
Great experience.

Damn

It. Everything. What the Hell am I doing here?... I feel like a ton or at least 3 in a half had been drop on me. It seems that when someone is looking at me they see a freak from the Moon. Seriously now I know what it meens "Like fallen from the Moon"*... Damn.. I wanna go home. I can see they obviously have no intrest in knowing me. Well there was this one girl, she was nice, tried to talk to me, but I think I kinda messed up, a bit or a lot - don't know... Oh, right, one guy from my class seemed to me like I've seen him alredy somewhere, just couldn't find out where. But when I got home I remembered - in one of many and kinda stupid "dating" sites. Damn how I was embarrassed... When I realized That He is That guy Jesus... I actually think he's pretty cute. That's why I got so embarrassed. But on the other hand - it's nothing. Guy's pretty cute, so what?

I'm still freakin' out like crazy.

Wish me not to faint.

I wish I could just cry 'till there's no strenght for me to breath... Please somebody tell me this ain't happening...

I know it's just me, but something is there that terrifies me. I'm scared to death. But why? I DON'T KNOW !! There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of... But that doesn't calm me down.

I'm sick and tired from packing stuff. Were're leaving on Thusday morning but my mom's just crazy about getting all the things packed 'till then. Seems to me she'd like to pack all our stuff and just wait untill it's time to go, and that would be about more than 48 hours. Nice.

I'm so envy of those who have The Will. You know? The strenght of doing everything THEY WANT. Why I'm such a mess. It's not fair. Or is it? I don't know. I don't know a fuckin' thing about what is happening. I only know how stupid, lonely, miserable, useless, faintless I am. That's it. Nothing more. I'm seriously insain.

Why you're always not there when I need you. Guess I just imagened that you care about me.