I wish I could just cry 'till there's no strenght for me to breath... Please somebody tell me this ain't happening...

I know it's just me, but something is there that terrifies me. I'm scared to death. But why? I DON'T KNOW !! There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of... But that doesn't calm me down.

I'm sick and tired from packing stuff. Were're leaving on Thusday morning but my mom's just crazy about getting all the things packed 'till then. Seems to me she'd like to pack all our stuff and just wait untill it's time to go, and that would be about more than 48 hours. Nice.

I'm so envy of those who have The Will. You know? The strenght of doing everything THEY WANT. Why I'm such a mess. It's not fair. Or is it? I don't know. I don't know a fuckin' thing about what is happening. I only know how stupid, lonely, miserable, useless, faintless I am. That's it. Nothing more. I'm seriously insain.

Why you're always not there when I need you. Guess I just imagened that you care about me.