I asked for a sign, to show me if there is anyone who cares about me. Guess I got my answer. But of course as always I'm not so sure... As much as I try to make myself believe that I won't ever fall inlove or get involved in a relationship - I can't..... Everything would be a lot easier if I could just stay someplace dark and quiet, someplace where I could avoid Life, but we all know that's impossible. Well, it was an opportunity back There, but here .... HERE is different. A lot. Here - I don't want to hide anymore. Here - I want to live, have fun, move on, move forward, have a blast, feel tired, feel needed, wanted, feel everything, even if it means feeling pain.... I'm used to physical one. Partly mental.... But I didn't get hurt here.... The only place I got hurt is There, I was away from home for a day, I went back There just for a day and I got hurt 2 or 3 times...... I started missing home earlier than usually.... I started missing Somebody... My summer began very unusually (go figure): I went to a party, friends 18 B-day, (I still can't thank her enough for inviting me). And things started changing - Before the party, during it, and even more after.... Then was this "joke" with the horoscopes, mine said that I should accept changes and start building self confidence... I know this is true. But the "punchline" was the part where I realised that those "changes" were already happening... " Wtf? " - I mean c'mon, that can be a coincidence.... I'm not saying I believe in horoscopes or astronomy, I'm just saying it's weird - that's all... And it seriously freaked me out..... I'm not a huge fan of big changes (just remember "The Moving") and this hypothetical truth is scaring the hell out of me..... If it's true.... Than I don't know..... If I'll change, which is what I'm doing already, then that'll mean that I don't have anything left from what I used to know as solid and unbreakable truth.... Everything will be a whole different new life.... I know things have to and need to change, but I don't know if I can handle all of this and that, especially myself.... I'm afraid to change, I don't know what It'll do to me......

But now I'm even more afraid to lose Somebody..... Don't know how long this goodness will last, but either way - I enjoyed, I'm enjoying and I will enjoy every moment I can......... It's way too good to be real, but it is.....
I really like this, what is going on, please let me keep it....