I have noooo idea why I am on The Face of The Earth?........
Am I a Joke to someone? Just so they could have a laugh?
Am I living a new version of The Truman Show?
Is my life just a script?
A movie?

I feel tears in my eyes....
Can somebody just shoot me??? Please !!!!

I'm tired of this.... Whatever this is............

I don't like this..........

It doesn't matter how many times I'm gonna say it....... Nothing will change..........

I am seriously sick. Insain.

Guy says couple of times Hi to me and others, the ones I tell that, already saying that he likes me. Like, Likes me.... Damn it ! And everything along with everyone !

It's been a month. A WHOLE FUCKIN' MONTH I'M HERE. And I did absolutely nothing. Like nothing. Zero action. Don't try saying that there's nothing wrong with me.

Days ago I had thoughts. Like real ones. Not like this, but others - happy ones, funny, silly.... Something that was worth to read. Not this same old same old shit.

Monday I was walikng from the school - the whole day was "Just take it easy" - it helped. So anyway. I was walking, pretty slow, listening to music in my mind, when the mp3 started playing "Little Bitty Pretty One by Huey Lewis and The News" and it's kinda gamesome rhythm, there are these gaps with fingers, you know, that sound, whatever, and the next moment I caught myself singin the song silently, with my lips only moving, my feet started to do something that it kinda looked like dancing, and I stared to mess around. It only lastet for a moment or two, but I felt stupidly good. I actually felt a smile on my face. I started to giggle, 'cause I felt stupid and good at the same time..... Only then It came to me - It Takes So Little To Feel Better. Only When You Try. - And that's were I get off of the Better Life Train. My problem - I DON'T TRY.

Sorry, I had to do something.... For the school......


To tell you the truth - things aren't bad as I thought it could be, they are really even better then it should be..... Everyone is sooo "Just take it easy".... Seriously... It came to my just now ;DDDD

I don't know what's left there to say? How am starting to like and dislike some people? How the guys make me smile in lessons, because of what they do at them..... It's actually very atracting to be in school, when there's someone always fooling around, making jokes and takin' it easy ;]

I can't live like this. I need to sit my ass down and write the very moment when I have something to. Cause I forget.

Damn.

WTF just happend?.... I'm surfing in the Net, listening to music, when suddenly the door bell rings... It was almost 23h... And the bell rang... Daaaamn it how I got scared.... Seemed, that the heart stopped beating.... I hold my breath... No movement... Not a sound... I just waited... Don't know, and defenately don't want to know, what the hek that was.....

Please don't do that again to me...

"So I'll just keep on walking down this open road
Talking to the man who knows me
Yes he knows me, the man is me" - And I walked The Open Road Today !

Weird feeling that was... Just Me, The Road, Wind and The Music in my Mind... I felt great. Just perfect. I mean, if I could choose between The Open Road and University, I would defenately choose The Open Wild Road, 'cause what can be better than to travel The World. To see things for real, to feel, to hear, to have the time of your life... Damn it how I want to do that. This could really be "my thing", you know. I don't know. If someone would ask me what I'd like to do the most now, I'd say - "travel The World with the closest one, better yet with all the people that are close to me. Lover, friend, sister, even mother. Everyone that would be up for it. To have the one experience I'd never ever forget..." - that's what I'd say. If anyone would ask.

Last weekend I was stuck somewhere between Stupidity and Reality. Now - Slumber and Life. This Place has That Something, what was missing Back There. For starters everything seems to be fine with me. For now. So thats a bit strange, 'cause I'm not use to it... But I'm getting...

I don't know, how things will go later, but I guess it can't be worse than it was... Can it?

You know what reminds me this Little Tree?... Me. I know I know... I'm not saying anything Tonight.

I just want to Fly like an Eagle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsTc9sDD_64
or just Runaway like The Wolf into the Misterious Night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhSx8uKdD5o ......

So many feelings,so little time.

What can be better than a screwd Weekend? - Just the beautiful Monday morning...

Sorry.. No inspiration to write..

Thanks

A lot... I mean. Who does that? It's not cool, okey? Or fair.... I don't know how it happened, but it didn't seem like an "accident". More like a set up... I felt and I still feel stupid.
This morning I got to school minute or two later, straight on the bell to the first class. When I got there I saw only three seets left, but all of them was next to someone, so I choose the closest one to me, next to a classmate-boy. Soo. Right. Nice. Yeah.
Great experience.

Damn

It. Everything. What the Hell am I doing here?... I feel like a ton or at least 3 in a half had been drop on me. It seems that when someone is looking at me they see a freak from the Moon. Seriously now I know what it meens "Like fallen from the Moon"*... Damn.. I wanna go home. I can see they obviously have no intrest in knowing me. Well there was this one girl, she was nice, tried to talk to me, but I think I kinda messed up, a bit or a lot - don't know... Oh, right, one guy from my class seemed to me like I've seen him alredy somewhere, just couldn't find out where. But when I got home I remembered - in one of many and kinda stupid "dating" sites. Damn how I was embarrassed... When I realized That He is That guy Jesus... I actually think he's pretty cute. That's why I got so embarrassed. But on the other hand - it's nothing. Guy's pretty cute, so what?

I'm still freakin' out like crazy.

Wish me not to faint.