Todays most biggest victims is The Victims of Civilization.
This category victims is The whole World. Cause every step in civilization is a big step for humanity forward, and a huge step for humanity backwards as well. Why? Yes, I know it's a paradox. But it's the way it is. Our brilliant minds envent time after time something new and more convenient for us to use. From time amazing Ancient Times, to the Middleages, to the Twentyth century and finally to the wonderful World of todays Technology. Everything we creat is suppose to help us live an easier life. But is that really true? The more we build the more trouble it costs. Like for an exemple - mobile phones. It's small, convenient, easy to use, communicative, lots to do with it. But. Radiation. Bad waves and everthing else. Sure it's great and helpful and etc. But it's not healthy, so why we envented it? Why do you ask me? I didn't envent this ? As for other things. I was spending my time in a village about a month. No TV, no Internet. So basically no Civilization for me. And I survived.
Today I'm spending my time by the side of the Computer. Everything went well untill the electrisity went blanck. For about 15 minutes. But that was enough for me to panic and cry "what I'm gonna do now?.." Then my mom and me realised that we're victims of Civilization.... No electrisity - no life. Ain't that ironic. I have 24 hours to "enjoy it" and I'm still bored...
I can bet from anything in the World That others like me - the not out going tipe is doing the same thing - being bored by the side of The Mighty Internet.... So what's the point of this? I don't have a clue.
I actually am so jealous of those who don't even have time to look in their e-mails. 'Cause they are living NOT existing or surviving. I wish I could spend more time with other people, like with one of my friend and her familly, I'm happy when I'm with them, 'cause then I'm living, communicating and just being with people... I'm enjoying almost every minute of it, because most of my freetime I spend between 4 walls, ceiliings and floors, staring at one spot or PC monitor or the TV. Dreaming that something will happen in 5 minutes , tomorrow, or someday later. But nothing happend as it is now...

Civilization - kidnapper of the Humanity.

So even the internet can't help me with my problems, wich you already know.
Nothing new. Same old problems. I'm too weak and lazy to change it. Like learning to skate. I'm not afraid to swim, but my friends are. They're not afraid to skate, but I am. Just like I don't understand how they are scared to swim, they can't get the picture why I'm scared to skate. I can tell you why. 'Cause I'm afraid to fall. I never had the strength to get over my fears, mistakes or any other problems I face, like asking a staff member about the mp3 players in a store. When I was just a kid, my grandma taught me how to swim, she never said I can drown, so I wasn't afraid to be in the water and swim. Sure I went for a year or so to the swimming pool where they taught me to swim better. And snice then there is no force in the world that can get me out of the water. But with the skates is diffrent. There isn't anyone to hold me and catch me when I fall. I'm not afraid of getting my bones broken or just getting hurt. I'm just afraid to fall. That's all.
It sames I shoul've gone use to being by myself most of the time, but I'm still scared sometimes to be alone. Like when my mother leaves just for a couple of days and I've got to look out for myself and the dog ofcourse. It's okey in day time, but when it comes to sleep I'm usually afraid to turn off the lights or go check the doors in the dark. Stupid huh. Well... It's what I am.

You know psychologist say that you can write a letter, when you're upset or angry. Well, I tried that. I called for help in my letters, said something I probably would not say out loud to someone I know. And It didn't helped. Yet. I still have one with me here. I think I'll hide it when I'll get back there.
So there.




Aren't I something or what?...
I would go with "or what"...