What you suppose to do

When you're acting other way around than you should? - You go out of your mind!
At least that's how I'm living...
I must be going out of my mind for the millionth time... Every time I am left alone at home, I start to depress... I was left alone too many times. In time, all that depression gets too far into my mind and I'm afraid, that one day it'll be far enough and I'll lose myself in my mindless mind... I'm that kind of person, who always needs to be surrounded by other people, who could talk to me all the time... I don't know for how long I can take this kind of life...?... But the problem is that, I don't do anything to change ALL THAT... I'm just to, how to say, lazy to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING... I need someone to forse me to do something, but anfortunately those who actually try that, don't succeed... There is a saying - "Don't try to change The World, it's impossible", I'm think, that for The World is impossible to change ME, 'cause every time something happens, it turns everything upside down all over again and I'm back to being plain old block of freezing ice...
I desperately need changes in my life, and fast... I really don't know for how longer I can take this, 'cause now, it seems, that all, what is happening is against me...

Please, HELP me....